Prayer | March 2018
Lord, I need a crucified heart.
But I …
what I look for is a silver bullet, a “how to”:
how to do correctly
how to understand correctly
so that I may achieve
greatly
for you.
If I had a crucified heart
A heart in the likeness of your divine heart
I would submit to the other
without fear
of the power the other possesses.
If I had a crucified heart
a heart in the likeness of your triune heart
I would submit to the truth
that comes from your heart
by your Word
without fearing its demands
and the losses they entail.
But I live in fear
and I give no great ground, either
to you
or
the other.
I have no
crucified heart.
But you …
the essence of all my years in you
my Christ
has been nothing more than
the repeated
progressive
crucifixion of my heart;
and will continue to be
until the vestiges of my flesh
are finally withered away
and the self
is full of the love
of Christ
and the liberty of service
to the other.
It is this heart that will be prepared
for the resurrection
for the incorruptible body
for the lasting reign of your royal children
in the new heaven and earth.
Sometimes I burn for zeal
sometimes for embrace of the other
sometimes for purity of conduct
sometimes for better theology
sometimes for counter-cultural behaviour
and structures
and justice
sometimes for stewardship of wealth
sometimes for care of creation
and sometimes
sometimes
for unity.
But grant me first my death, for
all these signs of the cross-initiated Kingdom
flow from a crucified heart
in which you, my Christ
are all.
Lord, crucify my heart.
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